“I was…ah… looking for Satan’s penis!”

October 16, 2007


Priests! Is there anything they won’t say when caught being gay?

“When his guest bade farewell, saying “It’s been a pleasure,” the Vatican official replied: “Not for me, because you don’t fancy me.”

(Sorry about the all-purpose anti-Papal pic–I’ve been dying for a chance to use it and I now realise it’s completely misleading.)


  1. Would Satan have a normal penis or would be all pointy and barbed like a cat’s mickey?

  2. “Looking for a Satanist plot” could become the gay equivalent of “discussing Ugandan affairs”.

    “Ooh, this plot goes sooo deep!”

  3. Now I’m no leading religious figure, but wasn’t Satan the angel who rebelled against God? And isn’t God the original source of all forgiveness? So is it not inconceivable that after a couple of thousand years God has actually forgiven Satan, and perhaps this was actually the centrepoint of the unpublished Bible II?

    Satan is probably just getting on with his own stuff now and not even bothering people, and it seems to me it’s just these interfering grudge-bearing Christians that keep wanting to open up old wounds, looking for him with their throbbing telescope of love inside the anal tract of young men.

    …. Please Christians, let it go …. Satan is probably minding his own business running a whelk stall on the south coast. He’s an old man now. He doesn’t need this hassle.

  4. Whoever decided to pretend that the Vatican was God’s representation on Earth, really dug a hole for themselves, didn’t they?

    If they’d only said, “we’re here to serve God and, as such, are susceptible to all the same human ‘flaws’ as everyone else”, they’d be ok when things like this happened.

    I love this quote: “I really believe that there is a diabolic plan by satanist groups who take aim at priests.”

  5. I think Satan got some rough treatment in the Bible.
    I mean, what did he do? He just told her to eat an apple. I thick the bad guy is the feckless, easily-led Eve who buggered everything right up. Then God totally over-reacted like the unsympathetic, arsehole character that he is.
    Gosh, I just love an underdog.

  6. I dont get the picture?

  7. It’s my all-purpose, anti-Papal pic.

  8. Behold Ye The Holy Trinity of the Internet

    Raptor Jesus, Clever Girl.
    Pirates, Arr.
    Ninjas, Real Ultimate Power.
    All Your Base, For Great Justice!

    And many, many more with sexy results….

    Cherish these few remaining moments of your lives.

  9. I’m not Catholic, but I used to work for the Church, and my gaydar went off quite a bit.

    I don’t think the Church will ever get as many Western European and North American men to join the priesthood as in previous decades because homosexuality is more accepted. Before, it was a great job for a man who was gay because he could have a career, even in academia or the arts, and not have to explain why he didn’t have a family.

  10. My family are C of I. My neighbour became a fully ordained Catholic Priest but while in England (damn Prods!) he met and fell in love with a lady lay worker there. He then switched religions to C of I so they could marry and his family, who were our friends and neighbours, utterly rejected him, didn’t attend the wedding, wouldn’t acknowledge them at all.
    This all happened in the late 90s. Our neighbours continued to be friendly as ever toward us. It was kinda weird.
    Happily all is good now, with their grandchildren at last giving them perspective, but it really showed me the bizarre effect total belief in any ‘authority’ can have.

    I decided then that most people find pragmatism and reason to complex a path. Authority bases itself on ideals easily grasped by the masses, bulk of whom are families; stability, routine, custom, whether real or imaginary, good or bad. Anything ‘radical’ no matter how beneficial is met with opprobrium.

    I’m wanking on a lot sorry, I think Raptor Jesus would have a message for me: RAAARRRR!!

  11. Speaking of religion, I watched Stewart Lee’s new stand-up DVD ’90s Comedian’ last night.
    Bought it here http://www.gofasterstripe.com/cgi-bin/website.cgi?page=videofull&id=6
    His website says, “Officially the 41st Best Satnd Up Ever” I’ve watched a fair few sets in my limited years and this is way up there with Bill Hicks (who, Twenty Major, described Satan’s penis once but I don’t want to get into that here.)
    Just woke up and had to tell people who may not have known about it.
    Have you seen it, Graham? Trust me, it’s worth watching just for the audience reaction– brilliant.

  12. It’s my all-purpose, anti-Papal pic.

    It’s quite terrifying

  13. That’s not Ratzo. That’s Cardinal Sean Brady.

    For fucksake, get it right!

  14. I have been on the net since early 2007 doing PR work for God. I have been to a few hundred sites so far. The Atheists sites list all of the evil things that Christains have done in the name of God. They blame God for all of it. So, God needs a Public Relations Representative to give him a better image. If God needs to throw Jerry Falwell, Bahai or the Catholic Church under the bus to better his image, well that’s what he needs to do. God asked me to work in his PR Department back in 2006. In response I have been telling everyone about the meaning of First is Last and Last is First. First is Last was written in Revelation. This is what God told me:

    In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my Life. In the evening I die, death.
    To understand this know that Birth is Last and Last is Birth. Yes, this is a big issue with the big guy. Mel

  15. oXTkO3 gfb7n0ghn60s9d7f34n30bnit5

  16. In 2006 God had this to say: We each die in succession, then we are born on the same day.

  17. Correction: To the meaning of First is Last and Last is First. It means that Birth is Last and Birth is First. Sorry for the error. God talks in symbols and opposites at times so it takes time to figure out what he is saying. Some of his messages are clearer than others, plus they have multiple meanings.

    To John,
    Is your message in code, or is it that you don’t have anything to say?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: