You know this unusual weather we seem to be experiencing–ha, ha– worldwide? I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. So what if Nick Griffin is representing the EU at the Climate summit in Copenhagen! Ha, ha! That would certainly be alarming news to everyone except the people who think the world’s leading scientists are making stuff up just for a laugh!
No, let’s all take a leaf out of this young woman’s book and just ignore it! Hurray! Now we’re safe!
This is from the comment thread on Boing Boing’s story about Peter Mandelson’s awful broadcast bill.
“I am the very model of a Pirate Finder General
My remit runs from a to z, from animal to mineral
The government has issued me with pow’rs plenipotentiary
To seize you and to pack you off to any penitentiary
I’m perfectly remorseless in pursuit of things piratical
I’m always in the office and I never take sabbaticals
You’d be amazed at all the powers that are vested in this entity
To compromise your systems and reveal your identity.
The doctrine of Fair Use I condemn as quite erroneous
And probably harmful if not actively felonious
And though my own position may in time prove quite ephemeral
For now I am the model of a Pirate Finder General
I’m not above resorting to intrusive tricks and hackery
If I chance to be confronted by a lock to which I lack a key
I recognize no boundaries either moral or international
At times my hate for piracy approaches the irrational
I interpret legal precedents with admirable latitude
For which my true employers never fail to show their gratitude
I’m a salaried employee of a corp’rate aristocracy
In fact, my mere existence makes a nonsense of democracy
I exist to serve the interests of a privileged minority
By whom I have been granted quite extraordinary authority
My jurisdiction ranges from the local to the federal
In short, I am the model of a Pirate Finder General
My attitude to human rights is simply reprehensible
I prosecute whole familes for reasons indefensible
I terminate connections be they wired or ethereal
And consider all objections to be strictly immaterial
Although you may deplore the fact and label it regrettable
I find the rule of law to be entirely forgettable
If it has any virtues, I must confess I’ve never known ’em
For I’ve always held that capital’s the only summum bonum
I’m answerable to no one, I enjoy complete autonomy
In my tireless crusade against foes of the Economy
And though my own position may in time prove quite ephemeral
For now I am the model of a Pirate Finder General”
by Angus McIntyre
Angus, YOU RULE!
These are also excellent examples of bad writing in games.
My favourites: “Just before you die, I’m going to tell you a secret so you really don’t want to die!”
“I like girls, but now…it’s about justice!”
“I have to stay awake and write this article before I die!”
…and the Mega Man bit is just unbelievably funny.
Special mention should go to the Irish guy in Bioshock. “Look out! Sploicers!”
UPDATE: many of these come from the excellent Audio Atrocities. The first thing I clicked was…The Taint!
(thanks @flidby, @alexmcchessers and @_MatheusCastro)
1. Quick Canal/Atlas Sound 2. rr vs d/au 3. Ordinary Song/The Little Ones 4. Terminally Chill/ Neon Indian 5. Liquid Indian/Guided By Voices 6. Shakey Dog/ Ghostface Killah 7. Runabout/Little Dragon 8. Antenna/Acorn 9. the 3rd Time We Opened The Capsule/Kitchens of Distinction 10.Alternating Currents/Field Music 11. Nitrogen Pink/Polly Scattergood
Thanks again to all the Twitter peeps who turned me on to much of this stuff.
I…I don’t know where to begin. God bless you, Glasgow Diamonds! God bless your fake rap, your silent saxaphone, the guy on the piano (THE GUY ON THE PIANO!), the cheerleaders waving their pom poms while they pass another industrial estate in the rain in cars hired from Mexander Autos. I love you all!
And don’t stand too close to that swimming pool! Ohhhhh! Too late!
(Thank you @AdamBeGood!)
p.s. no need to watch it past the video. It runs on, for some reason.
Oh, dear. Well, at least it’s made an incredibly boring website fractionally more entertaining. (Thanks, @Teamlambert!)
Why, That\'s Delightful! 