Portrait Of A Genius

At last, I have been recognised as one of the world’s greatest living geniuses. (Joint number 83 with, among others, the best living British film-maker, Ken Russell.)

Perhaps you can print this photograph out and glance at it whenever you need inspiration. In it, I can be seen thinking about something important.

I notice in the Guardian, poor jealous Marcel Berlins describes the list as “barking mad”. I suppose he’s annoyed at his poor position on the list…oh, my mistake! He’s not on the list at all! That’s because it’s a list that only geniuses are allowed on. Geniuses like me.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get to work. I’d explain what I’m doing, but you wouldn’t understand. Unless you’re Osama Bin Laden or Dolly Parton.

(Thanks to everyone who pointed this out.)

Oh, Douglas…

Thanks to Jamie and Alistair, both of whom wrote to point out the similarity between alleged Royal Blackmailer Ian Strachan and my very own Douglas Reynholm!

Where are they now?

(Oh, bloody hell. This is another old one. How come I’ve never seen it before?)

“I was uncalled for.”

I know the phrase “that was uncalled for” but someone in ‘Heroes’ (the ‘Six Months Earlier’ episode) just said “I’m sorry. I was uncalled for.”

What? What does that mean? How did that make it all the way to the screen?

And listen, does ‘Heroes’ get better? My patience is wearing thin. It’s like ‘Dawson’s Creek’ without the violence.

What’s it like your end?

Here in Dublin? Nearly October and you could wear shorts and a T-shirt.

Way too warm. Waaaaaay too warm.

Not long left now. Y’all better be getting a lot of sex in.

(P.s. Hello to all my new Guardian Guide readers! Welcome aboard!)

Holy shit! Rumsfeld charged with torture!

Oh, wait, in France. Still, though!

He’s clearly exhausted

Police in Hampshire thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the back of a bus. Well, what could possibly go wrong there?

(Thanks, Joe!)

Very black water indeed

“How on earth were the deaths of four corporate personnel worth the death of an entire Iraqi city? That siege had an incredibly devastating impact on events on the ground in Iraq. It gave rise to the Iraqi resistance, it fuelled it, attacks escalated against US forces and it was really the moment the war turned, over the deaths of these four Blackwater guys.”

The truth, or some of it, anyway, behind creepy scumbag Eric Prince and his creepy scumbag company, Blackwater. Here’s the second part of the interview, which is even more interesting.

Scahill’s book looks essential.

Oof. Absolutely. Yes, please. More.

This is Beirut. I’m going to marry them, somehow.

Cause and effect