Talk it up, Talky!

August 22, 2008


  1. Hi Graham, where’s the entry?

  2. oups sorry 4 that!

  3. I’ve only been subscribing to your blog for a short while Graham…. what’s all this about then?

    Is it an invitation to talk and spout words all over the place?

  4. Yup!

  5. Hey guys you can post links if you like:

    Or start a debate:

    Martha Carney is a racist, discuss.

  6. Well those last two entries sure made me ashamed to be an American. *sigh* Bastards…

  7. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3jwjS3Ee_SM

    what a song

  8. I have been watching Black Books obsessively recently; is it just me, or does Tamsin Grieg look eerily like Peter Cook from certain angles?

  9. Are you heading to the Electric Picnic festival Graham?

  10. Hi Graham.
    Did you get an iPhone or did you just think that guy’s a little bit crazy?

  11. I tried to get one, but 02 and some bastard company called Equifax have deemed me a credit risk. Never had a problem before, always pay my bills on time, and now I can’t get an iPhone and no-one will tell me why (impossible to contact Equifax unless you pay out 11 quid for a ‘credit history’, which I refuse to do on principle).

    Anyway… http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/hughes/14081

  12. http://www.experian.co.uk/creditreport/

    can get a free report here, just remember to cancel before 30 days are up

  13. Best name for the talk section so far!

    Anyone who loves Bill Hicks’s work should love this. It’s hilarious and fascinating:

  14. Graham!

    I’ve watched IT crowd so many tiems that I wanted to be fair and see if I could make you laugh too.

  15. Cheeky b’stards.
    Nationwide did the same to me. Said I had too many checks on my credit history. They were the ones who had put them there!
    Whoops we messed up your credit by checking it.

    Look up some info on moneysavingexpert.com
    He’s a bit preachy but has good advice about all things money.

  16. Wait there. You said you moved in a previous talky talk.
    You won’t be on the electorial register for you new house. That’s why they bounced you. The use the names from the property to check you live there.

    Plus (and I not casting aspersions about previous owners) but if they had a bad credit score, yours may get marked down too.

    It only costs £1 to get credit notes from equifax.
    Other companies will charge you more.

    Hope this helps.

  17. Sorry about awful typing mistakes.


  18. Hey, I sent in some awesome ideas for the IT Crowd to that email you posted. Hopefully all my ideas will be used and provide many extra laughs on the show.

    That said, it’s highly likely that none of my ideas will be used.

  19. Thanks, hive mind!

  20. Pat Condell > Bill Hicks

  21. Been without the internet for a month. This site has been greatly missed.

  22. Hi Graham – thanks for the heads up about the War on Terror boardgame giveaway. I went down there and didn’t manage to get hold of one – far too many people – but they are a truly mad crowd and it was worth it just for the lunatics in balaclavas.

    Couldn’t help thinking “They’re going a bit mad there” in a Dougal voice…

  23. Demitri Martin = Stephen Wright + guitar + whiteboard.

    Long clip but funny as and some quite clever jokes, though with 2.8M views I may be the last person on the planet to have watched it, so apologies for being unfashionably late.

    With big respect to Mr L., love the blog, looking forward to IT Crowd 3.

  24. Actually, Mr L., while I have your ear, or eyes to be more precise, could I ask a quick writing question?

    When you are writing a script do you develop a plot then build in gags that help the plot along, or do you think up gags and ideas individually then mould them into a plot? Or do you work in a different way?

    Most of the books about writing sitcoms are by US writers and plot is paramount to them, yet British humour always seems more anarchic.

  25. Everyone hates Piers Morgan: http://www.piersmoron.blogspot.com

  26. Script writing–I think of two or three big set-pieces, and then work the plot so the set-pieces connect up in a satisfying way. Then if one of the characters doesn’t have a plotline, I try and think of one that can run parallel to the main one, or else fuse with it somehow.

    I don’t worry about dialogue and gags until I’m sure the story is right.

  27. I’ve just read about the london/beijing handover ceremony. It doesn’t sound nearly londonish enough to me. This is my ideal show…

    A drunken David Beckham on a double decker bus kicks a football made of tea at a queue of teenagers in a giant bowler hat wearing tweed hoodies and stabbing each other with chips, as it rains. A Scotch man and a Wales man look on bitterly.

  28. It’s like a barbed brain knife. I curse my girlfriend every time I find myself humming it and so I thought I’d pass it along, a trap amidst all the usually nifty stuff scattered through your comment threads. Shhhh…

  29. Besides IT Crowd series 3, are you working on any other projects.

  30. A drunken David Beckham on a double decker bus kicks a football made of tea at a queue of teenagers in a giant bowler hat wearing tweed hoodies and stabbing each other with chips, as it rains. A Scotch man and a Wales man look on bitterly

    I thought that’s what they were doing already… I also wonder how many Olympians will get stabbed by ASBO enthusiasts in 2012.

  31. Where I come from, a ‘Wales man’ is generally referred to as a ‘Welsh man’…

  32. And where I come from a “scotch man” is generally referred to as a Scottish man…

  33. No no no, “Wales man and Scotch man” is far superior. Reminds me of Garth Marenghi: “I’ve been running from the Scotch all my life”

  34. Where I come from a “Walk man” is referred to as an MP3 player.

  35. Where I come from, a Disc man is referred to as obsolete.

  36. bubbles without words, how convenient!

  37. Where I come from, if someone says “a scotch man and a wales man”, other people realise it’s a joke!

    Reminds me of Stewart Lee’s first stand-up DVD, when he played in Glasgow and kept referring to the people as Scotch and proved William Wallace was gay :)

  38. How’d the Edinburgh masterclass go? Saw the DO’D the other night. He made me ROFL.

  39. I too saw DO’D on Thursday, he was fantastic, he deserves the award. He made me LMAO and go like this “:)” especially when he went “;)” in my direction.
    I wanted to go see Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler too, but ran out of time.

    Jim, I think we may be eTwins or something as not only did we both witness the greatness of the DO’D, but I too came on here to ask how the masterclass went. Also to say that right this second, my friend Kerry has texted to say she’s going to get an “I Love Books” tshirt like the one Graham wears in Black Books made for me. I love when people claim they’ll do stuff like that!

  40. Hi Graham,

    As much as I despise the current administration and denounce their ruinous, inhuman, inhumane policies both at home and abroad, I don’t see how the Americans are to blame for Afghani culture being so ugly and abusive towards women.

    By making complaints that make no sense and can be so easily picked apart, you facilitate the neocons’ pooh-poohing of all activism and opinion against them. They’ll grab onto a comment like yours every time as evidence that the ‘moonbats’ don’t know what they’re talking about, while ignoring all the perfectly valid complaints we have with them.

  41. Granther: surely, since America has invaded Afghanistan and imposed their own puppet leader, they can be held somewhat responsible for the laws being enforced there? They might not be responsible for everything that goes down, but if the legal system is abusing human rights in such a horrific way, are they really powerless to stop it?

  42. why should certain humans have rights and others none. Your from a certain country therefore your special and will not be treated the same as this person from another country.
    You have been to which country? there are terrorists there and you might have made contact with them therefore you will be treated like a terrorist suspect!
    there really is no point getting annoyed about other peoples situations, live your own life
    i’m sure the majority of afghan women do not question and have been brought up not to question their beliefs and the restrictions those beliefs might impose upon their lifes and i cannot see this changing!
    i’m trying to imagine a world without religion, maybe there wouldnt be so much suffering. But then again…

  43. Never underestimate the value of coherent writing

  44. Imagine there’s no brain cells…

  45. I’ve just watched Jackie Chan singing at the Olympics. Going to bed now, nothing else today could possibly be better.

  46. The liberation of women was one of the reasons given, belatedly, to justify the invasion of Afghanistan. So the neo-cons can be judged on that.

    However, we can’t pretend that a Taliban government wouldn’t be much worse. Even out of power they are killing teachers who teach girls, amongst other things.

    It’s hard to blame the Afghan government and their cowardly inaction entirely when even Germaine Greer excuses misogyny if it’s part of ‘culture’. We need zero tolerance of the oppression of women regardless of faith, culture or politics.

  47. Hey Graham,big fan! I know you’ve been asked this question tons of times but im knew to your site. Do you and Chris Morris and all the boys keep in contact? you know go to the pub for a few too many?

  48. Sorry “new” to your site not “knew”

  49. Loved your guided by voices mix that introduced me to Muxtape, which is now on hold by the RIAA.

    Well to return some sort of favour I found this



  50. Whats with the anti-scottish comments on here, I thought I was on BBC’s Have your Say for a minute. We are the new Nazi’s nowadays it seems, or perhaps its worse and we are the “the new French”.

  51. Graham, I have a question for you. On the series 1 deleted scene’s, the first one contains a scene where Moss & Roy are walking through the park, but in the first millisecond of that clip it sounds like they’re in the middle/end of a conversation, but did I hear the word shark?

    My question/request to you is, could I see/hear the script/general idea of that conversation? ^^


  52. I don’t think there’s a single anti-scotch comment on this page. What are you referring to, James?

  53. ..or even “the new France men”..

  54. We love the Scotch. I just happen to have been running from them all my life.

  55. Argh, Scotch, Scotch !! Its time to be sacking York again.

  56. What’s with the anti-York comment? I found it to be a delightful town

  57. Thought you might enjoy this:

  58. Well ok, we wont just ‘sack York’ and leave it a burning pile of rubble. This time we will introduce restructuring and educational programs. Our skirt wearing, painted faced barbarians will be put to good use, teaching the people of York about the importance of clean water, hygiene and language skills (“its not Scotch its Scottish” ..etc).

  59. Haha, I think everyone here is intelligent enough to be well aware that the correct term is Scottish, and the whole point of the joke was that it’s blindingly obvious. Humour may be derived from feigning ignorance and the potential for someone to take it the wrong way and become defensive.

    Which is exactly what’s happened :)

  60. Yes, but being ‘good humoured’ is the potential to not act like a giant penis.

  61. Incidentally… I’m from Northern Ireland, and so I’m the last person who would have the right to sincerely take the piss out of other nationalities :S

  62. Right sack Belfast then.

    Ug, ok, peace. I don’t mean no harm. I like the term ‘Scotch’. Was just pretending to be offended for comedy effect, didn’t really come across on a internet message board, I admit. For the record I mean no harm to York, I don’t really want to sack it. To be honest I wouldn’t actually know how.

  63. As you probably know Graham, Your Moss – a certain mr Mr.Richard Ayoade directed the video to the new Vampire Weekend single “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa”…and did a bloody good job of it too!!

  64. Forgot the link – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wHl9qRsMzw

    Silly me!

  65. Also read that it is a tribute to the legend that is John Hughes!!

  66. Just in case you didn’t catch this elsewhere:

    Originally seen at Chortle News Trivia:

  67. The need to be loudly unfunny in a public space is certainly a curious one…

  68. Hi Graham!

    I can lend you my copy of Mighty Peking Man if you’d like. The whole film is just as genius as the trailer – though it does get a bit dull towards the end (during the giant monkey rampage of all things!).

  69. Where I come from?
    Through the tip of my penis.

    Another point, and apologies for the crassness, what’s the biological term for the ‘banjo string’?

  70. During the Rose of Tralee last night the male escorts to the girls were all brought up on stage. When one of them was asked what their job there was he replied ‘Ah sure we’re here for a bit of craic and to look after all the Lovely Girls”. I don’t think there was a pun intended but his choice of words was interesting!

  71. Where the heck did a boy called Jamie get a flashlight that tore open a hole between dimensions?

  72. Iamsicle: It’s called the frenulum.

  73. Hi Graham,

    I was at your masterclass in Edinburgh and wanted to thank you for an entertaining, informative and inspiring hour. Unlike the other masterclasses over the weekend, yours was actually a class and it was much appreciated.

    I am clutching your advice on procrastination very much to heart. I always suspected that watching/studying my favourite shows when I really ought be writing actually helped my work but it was great to hear it straight from the mouth of a “master”. I’m off to poke my subconscious with a big stick with a Black Books session right now! Cheers.

  74. I took a sickie off work today to go see a friend….I feel guilty now because my friend went to work….discuss

  75. hello graham,

    do you have a po box address? i’ve a mix tape to send you, if you’re interested like.


  76. On the subject of hecklers, I saw Daniel Kitson eject a couple of people from one of his Edinburgh warm-up shows by paying them to leave. The tickets were “pay what you want” and he doubled what they paid just so they would get out. He also gave my girlfriend some money cos he felt she had paid too much. It was a strange evening, all told.

  77. hey graham.

    do you like james jarivs?
    you might like this if you do.


  78. Have you ever did any stand-up, Grahambo?

  79. Wow, those two chaps appeal to my sense of cliche.
    Rednecks, eh? I find it ironic that the folk who vehemently deny a link between ape and man ARE the goddamn link.

  80. Watched your vid. Damned funny… but it would have been just as funny with a 20 second introduction (I couldn’t wait for the full 1:22).

  81. Do you think Ryanair apply a surcharge for oxygen?

  82. Not sure if you’ve seen this Graham.

    From these clever guys – 419Eater.

    I reckon Father Jack would sort them out quick smart. Or perhaps unfurling Dougal on them would be even more punishment.

  83. I believe that John Hughes is digitally re-jigging all his teen movies from the 80’s and releasing them in order. New CG characters will “complement” the cast of Breakfast Club for instance. A new troubled youth with Tourette’s Syndrome sits behind Molly Ringwald, voiced by Haley Joel Osment; he shouts out catchphrases that instantly update the movie for modern audiences for whom films without commercial sponsorship are difficult to focus on. Zak as he is known, will shout out “Playstation rules” “Wii rocks” and Osama sucks!” at intervals. The Breakfast Club (Meeet Me At McDonalds™) will be released in the autumn. The new films will be co financed by the aforementioned console makers and fast food purveyors.

  84. I know it’s a bit late for ITC props but if you could get Jen to wear this I’d nominate you for a sainthood!! Geeky & sexy in one!

  85. Wrong Headed: I’M the link between ape and man! And even I think rednecks should be run over by monster trucks.

  86. “I pleaded with the officers not to kill him…”

    How BA and the police treat passengers who speak up when someones is being forcibly restrained on a public flight:

  87. I read one of the Obama plotters was named Adolf…ADOLF.

  88. Re: BA story
    What I’ve never been able to understand with one of those oppressive stories is what’s going through the restrainer’s head. Surely to work in such an authoritarian job requisites sadism?

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: