Hilariously misguided Navy advert

November 1, 2007

As The Register points out, “the submarine on which our IT expert appears to be serving is a Vanguard-class boat; it carries Trident intercontinental missiles with nuclear warheads. That guy is a weapons technician, remember. Enemies of the UK take note: our strategic deterrent probably doesn’t work any more.”

(Thanks, Mark)


  1. Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

  2. If you pay peanuts… etc

    Speaking of monkeys, a monkey babysitter!

  3. Graham.. This gave me the perfect idea for you for series 3… this guy could be Roy’s cousin!

    Thrown out of the Navy for having turned off and on the systems that control the ship and having something terrible happen (ship sinks, warheads almost launch, whatever). Then he comes to his cousin Roy looking for a place to stay and a job. He takes him to Reynholm Industries and meets Moss, Jen and Douglas and the hilarity ensues. But wait.. here’s the best part… Roy and his cousin are identical! How funny are identical relatives? Of course Roy and his cousin don’t see it, which makes it even funnier. I would assume on a sitcom, this might be a little hard with the dual role stuff, but for just one episode it might be worth it.

    So, feel free to totally rip this idea off if you want… I don’t even want any credit. Just promise to name the character ‘Sean’ and make sure at some point in the episode Jen says ‘balls’. That would be perfect. :)

  4. If you use his idea then you have to use my idea otherwise that’s not fair. I have 9 pages of script that I’ll send to you in the post (Or deliver to your house if you prefer).

  5. Wait, wait, hear mine first:

    Roy and Moss are having a chess competition. Upon winning, Ross announces that he is actually his own brother.
    Jen wakes up from this nightmare to the realisation that they are all dead.

    Pan out to see Reynholm Industries being eated by a giant trout that begins to scream.

    Roll credits.

  6. Eated?
    //frowns, puts down bottle of vodka and goes back to coding

  7. My dad was an artificer on the submarines for a while. The computer they had back then had 1k of memory and took up a whole room. If the circuits got seawater on them, he removed that board, dunked it in distilled water, let it dry, then shoved it back in again. Those were the days.

    I use to program submarine software. The first day I started, I was told to read the ‘Hunt for Red October’ to get a feel for the sort of technology I’d be involved with. Never actually saw a submarine. Never got airlifted onto one to prevent a maverick captain from defecting. Never even met Sean Connery. It was the most boring job I’ve ever had.

    Apart from the summer job I had pulling offal out of chickens’ bums for Shippams Pate, that is.

  8. Heres an idea:

    Don’t use their ideas.

  9. Aww.. come on. I’ll admit it’s a bit rough, but mines pretty decent. Or what about a bit where they meet Moss’s mother and she’s played by Richard Ayoade… that would so work.

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