Archive for October, 2007

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Portrait Of A Genius

October 31, 2007

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At last, I have been recognised as one of the world’s greatest living geniuses. (Joint number 83 with, among others, the best living British film-maker, Ken Russell.)

Perhaps you can print this photograph out and glance at it whenever you need inspiration. In it, I can be seen thinking about something important.

I notice in the Guardian, poor jealous Marcel Berlins describes the list as “barking mad”. I suppose he’s annoyed at his poor position on the list…oh, my mistake! He’s not on the list at all! That’s because it’s a list that only geniuses are allowed on. Geniuses like me.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get to work. I’d explain what I’m doing, but you wouldn’t understand. Unless you’re Osama Bin Laden or Dolly Parton.

(Thanks to everyone who pointed this out.)

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Oh, Douglas…

October 30, 2007

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Thanks to Jamie and Alistair, both of whom wrote to point out the similarity between alleged Royal Blackmailer Ian Strachan and my very own Douglas Reynholm!

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Where are they now?

October 29, 2007

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(Oh, bloody hell. This is another old one. How come I’ve never seen it before?)

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“I was uncalled for.”

October 29, 2007

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I know the phrase “that was uncalled for” but someone in ‘Heroes’ (the ‘Six Months Earlier’ episode) just said “I’m sorry. I was uncalled for.”

What? What does that mean? How did that make it all the way to the screen?

And listen, does ‘Heroes’ get better? My patience is wearing thin. It’s like ‘Dawson’s Creek’ without the violence.

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What’s it like your end?

October 27, 2007

Here in Dublin? Nearly October and you could wear shorts and a T-shirt.

Way too warm. Waaaaaay too warm.

Not long left now. Y’all better be getting a lot of sex in.

(P.s. Hello to all my new Guardian Guide readers! Welcome aboard!)

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Holy shit! Rumsfeld charged with torture!

October 26, 2007

Oh, wait, in France. Still, though!

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He’s clearly exhausted

October 26, 2007

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Police in Hampshire thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the back of a bus. Well, what could possibly go wrong there?

(Thanks, Joe!)

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